There are tears behind my smile
And a mask I wear...it's called denial
Life is tragically to real
From this loss I will not heal
No one has a single clue
How much it hurts...my losing you
Although they think I'm doing fine
Sometimes I feel I've lost my mind
Memories are all that I have left
After this terrible life theft
A heart that hurts beyond control
Deep down to my very soul
There are tears behind my smile
And a mask I wear...it's called denial
I have cried with and without tears
And have been doing so for years
I have found no place to hide
Carry all of this inside
No earthly words that do explain
The kind of life that does remain
I look for signs most every day
That you are close...not far away
I play a game within my heart
As if you never did depart
There are tears behind my smile
And a mask I wear...it's called denial
Missing you my special child
When you were here I truly smiled.
By: Grieving Mothers
Dear blog,
I haven't written in a while because I'm in a place where I find few words.
The poem "A Mask I Wear" pretty much sums it all up for me.
I find myself in a place where I am forced to live my new life whether I choose to or not.
I have flash backs of every detail of that dreaded night that now haunt me; playing like a bad
movie over and over again. I wonder how it could have been different, what I could have done
different, ............................ all the what ifs!
I find myself rushing outside just after a storm hoping to see a rainbow, a glimpse of you my
son. Yes, I AM chasing RAINBOWS :(
I miss you sooooooo much everyday, my heart
aches.
I cannot wait for this life to
pass ....... to see you again<3<3
..................... but until then, I will enjoy the
blessings that I DO have. My husband
Steve, my son Tim and
my beautiful grandson "Noah", my
beautiful daughter Niki, her husband
Khalil and baby Kai (we anxiously await your birthday!!)
I love you ALL.
