Stuck in Pause .....

..It's been a while since I've been able to come back and blog. The passing of the four boys, Devaughn, Cody, Nick, and John recently have left me stuck in a place I call "PAUSE". That's the best way I know how to describe it. Maybe I would still be in this place without that event. My heart goes out to each and every family member that is now forced to now grieve as we do.

Today, ........  Friday and raining quickly takes me back to the day we lost you Evan. It seems like yesterday. As I sit here at my desk I glance over to a calender that's been here for a while; never really thought about it until today.

It too is STUCK IN PAUSE as I see the last day I crossed off is August 13th, 2010!!

I find myself in a place that desperately wants just to hear your voice Evan. I need that fix right now to keep me going. The familiar scent of you from your bedroom has now begun to fade as well.
              
                 OH, HOW I WISH TIME COULD STAND STILL!!
                    
............  but it keeps moving ........ the seasons are changing so fast ............ and the days and months seem to be moving faster and faster which only remind me of how long you've been gone.

I wish heaven had a cell phone. Just saying  ..............

Miss you so much Evan .....